Di Flatt's Blog


Yesterday I ‘enjoyed’ my first gay abuse!
June 10, 2012, 9:45 am
Filed under: charity, fundraisers, Third Sector | Tags: , , , , , ,

Yesterday I ‘enjoyed’ my first gay abuse.
Am I gay? No.
Was I with a gay person at the time? Yes, two in fact.
Myself and two of my best friends. Taking a happy stroll in the sun, on our way out to enjoy breakfast.
On our way we passed a group of young and clearly bored/uninformed/homophobic/stupid/rude (you choose) teenagers. Male and female.
As we passed them – and I recall smiling at them as we did so – one of the girls sneered ‘lesbians’.
To which one of her peers laughed, and thus spurred her on. And so the young perpetrator then shouted her euphoric abuse until we were almost out of her sight.
We laughed. The old adage ‘sticks and stones…..’ came to mind.
But at the same time it was rather sad and concerning. Young people today I had hoped would be better informed and aware. After all statistics say that at least six per cent of people in the UK are gay. There were easily 15 teenagers in their little posse.
So my thoughts go thus:
At least one of them is highly likely to be gay.
Several of them will have been uncomfortable at the rudeness of the abuse – and so feel guilty.
Most of them won’t really think their ‘leader’ was clever or intelligent.
Perhaps this dominant female is going to be the gay statistic in their gang?
Maybe, for our young abuser, being angry with passing strangers made dealing with her own day to day life a little easier ( in which case she has my forgiveness ).
Learnings: be informed; forgive easily; keep on smiling.
Action: create a poster re the statistics on the number of gay people in the UK today. Add a gay advice line number to poster. Laminate said poster. Attach laminated poster to lamppost by the steps teenage posse hang out at.
Aaahhhh : feel better now.
Always find a way to help others!

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2 Comments so far
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Forgive easily. To do that, I have to wipe out every bit of internalised transphobia in me. Otherwise, the abuse raises echoes in me and hurts too much. I am getting there.

I love the idea of a laminated poster. I walked through central Manchester with my girlfriend once, with a man following, singing, “She used to be a man! She does not like people to know, she used to be a man!” Actually, I was flattered: I had not transitioned yet, so I appeared to be further on than I really was. It hurt, though.

Comment by Clare Flourish

What Di didn’t say was that whilst many may have put their heads down and walked away, the torrent of abuse got worse because…. I won’t….I flipped the little s*** ‘the bird’ and shouted that their parents ‘must be very proud’……yes I know that multiplied the abuse but it was there anyway, unprovoked and unnecessary…and I will do it again and again and again…..I will not hide who I am, not for them, not for you not for anyone…..rant over!!

Comment by Jen




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